The Title is for the Public

At what age are we too old to run around and referring to someone as “my boyfriend” or “girlfriend”? – When does it become a straightforward, mutual agreement between two grown people that you all are simply in an exclusive relationship? I don’t have the answer to this, mainly because I don’t believe there is one specific answer. To each their own because to some people, their love and relationship is only validated by a title. In my opinion, this is what justifies my reasoning for saying “titles are for the public”.

If you and another person are perfectly comfortable with yourselves and each other, know what you both want and are willing to accept, and have a clear understanding about your relationship, you enjoy each other’s company and it’s as simple as that, there is no title needed to stamp the feelings. People get so wrapped up in the IDEA of having love and a relationship and get in competition with their friend’s relationships and those that they see in society – they start to lose track of the simplicity of things. “It could all be so simple, but you’d rather make it hard” (Lauryn Hill) – true statement.

I’ve played both sides. I’ve been the girl that felt that the only way I would be satisfied was if he was my BOYFRIEND and I was his GIRLFRIEND. Shame on me. I soon came to a realization that in the end, all that matters is him and I. Simple equation.

In some cases, when someone is just “talking to” someone, it’s not enough for them. They lay on the pressure for a title, “I need to be your girlfriend” – or the ultimatum “If I can’t be your girlfriend, we need to stop talking, it’s not fair”. Why is this? Multiple reasons:

- Validation for the outside world, i.e. friends

- Validation for themselves “If he becomes my man, there’s less of a chance of him cheating on me” O_o

- Validation for actions – once I’m his girl, he will change

These are all flawed. Notice many of the friends asking why you two aren’t together, and giving you all the “relationship” advice to pressure him to be with you aren’t even in relationships themselves (or are constantly in and out of them)!!! If open and honest communication exists between you all and you are on the same page, there is no reason you need a label to make it the “real” thing. Feelings are feelings; they do not change with a title. If a man (or woman for that matter) is going to cheat or mess around on you – guess what, a title isn’t holding them back. Actions are no different, if they are a liar, a cheater; they go out too much, disrespect you, etc. Sorry, but a title is NOT changing this. People do what they want to and if they are truly in it and their feelings are genuine, they will do the right thing, title or not.