All surface and no substance...I always hear friends of mine complaining about not being able to meet the “right” mate. Male and female… it seems to be a never ending story that gets old pretty quickly. From the typical reasons like no job, no car, not enough money, no goals, children, I personally just can not and will not believe that out of ALL of the men and women in the world, and particularly in the DMV area, there are no good ones available. Now I’m not one to advocate for lowing one’s standards simply to have someone to claim. However, if I’m repeatedly hearing the story “there are no good men/women” or “all men or women are the same” – soon I’m going to begin to actually question the character of the person who is saying this. My motto is “be what you want to attract”, so if you’re attracting all of these not up to par people, maybe you need to make some changes to yourself, step your game up a little and then try again.
Maybe it’s where you’re going to meet them? I did a twitter poll a while ago asking “Where is the “right” place to meet an acceptable female worth dating?” – Most males opinion was definitely not the club, try the library or the grocery store or a gathering. The reasons behind not the club were that most of those ladies partying in the club 5 out of 7 days a week are ones that do it as their lifestyle, so they are constantly looking to meet new men (some females agreed). My opinion on that is, maybe you meet a female in the club and she’s there specifically for a friend’s birthday, but normally she doesn’t frequent the club, why would you not consider her just because she happens to be partying that one night? Say you meet a female in the library or maybe at church, sorry, but just because she’s studious or appears to be Christian-like doesn’t mean she wasn’t in the club the night before or is even a good catch at all, don’t be fooled.
It could be how you approach them. Or possibly ladies maybe it’s because you are still in the “I want a bad boy or thug” mentality. We aren’t 15 and 16 anymore and that whole bad boy image is no longer cool. You can’t say you aren’t finding the right one but all you’re dating is the same type of guy over and over. Switch it up – all men aren’t the same. Stop complaining about not finding substance when you are ONLY surface. You can be attractive all you want but when it comes down to it and you two are sitting down to talk – any good male or female is going to want someone who is well rounded and can talk about something more than gossip and sports. Can you hold a conversation? Come up with different date ideas? What are you working towards that would intrigue someone to want to date you? Switch some things you do up. Try some new scenes and definitely look at your “make or break list” and see if there are a few things that you expect but you don’t even have. How can you want to sit at a table to eat but you brought nothing to share? Have standards and expectations but don’t make them unreachable.
Moral of the story: if you limit certain things or have this unrealistic list of expectations and you aren’t bringing anything to the table, you could possibly be missing out on a good man/woman. Keep your options open, take some time out for introspection and know yourself first. If you are the constant complainer about never finding a good man or woman out here, just consider… maybe it’s you?
You might have had similar flavor before but try a new dish, you'd be surprised ;)
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