Dish of the day – Men, Women & Change.

“Women marry women hoping to change them; Men marry women hoping they’ll never change”

So this post is dedicated to my parent’s 24^th anniversary yesterday. 24 years of being with ONE person… definitely a beautiful thing. Hence the reason I believe in marriage, don’t believe in divorce and advocate for waiting until marriage for children. Watching their marriage has definitely had a positive impact on my life and taught me a lot of interesting things. The quotation at the top is something my mom constantly told me as a girl growing up and I never really understood the meaning until looking at the female/male dynamics and motives when in a relationship, analyzing some of my own actions as well and breaking down some of the reasons that quotation might or might not actually be the case.

I think as a woman we have a tendency to overanalyze things and think that we can control a lot more than we can. In terms of relationships, it becomes hard sometimes to determine the dividing line between telling a man something about himself in a way that is seen as helpful and would help him grow versus nagging about stuff he does and trying to critique his “flaws” in hopes of bringing about a change in them and in him overall. I can’t speak for all women, but I know there are the types that meet a sub par man and think to themselves “Now, if I could just change this, this and that… he would be perfect”… WRONG! Especially at the age we are now, there is certainly room for growth but no man is going to change and mold himself to be whatever it is that woman wants him to be. Change takes a person seeing something negative in them, accepting it, and working towards making it better. It’s best to give your opinion and let him acknowledge it himself and if you don’t see the results you want or he doesn’t agree… leave it alone or walk away if it’s going to be that much of an issue.

When it comes to men never wanting to see their woman or wife change, I completely agree. I think (and see) a lot of women that get in relationships, get comfortable because they have their man and he loves them and BAM completely let go of everything she was doing when she met him – this includes activities, friends, appearance, motivation, etc. Just sad. I’m not quite sure what makes a woman think that her man wants her sitting up under him all day, but disclaimer ladies: it’s unattractive! If you had a job, you were involved doing a bunch of outside activities, you hung out with your girlfriends frequently and you kept your hair and nails done to attract that man, keep it up. Yes, he should love you for you, but at the end of the day men are physical people and if he truly loves you, he wants you to remain true to you first – he will be there.

From watching my parent’s marriage, I’ve learned these 10 things (& more) --

1. It has its ups and downs but it is unconditional and forever.
2. Communication, communication, communication.
3. Get to know each other for as long as possible before getting married, there is no rush.
4. A successful marriage takes sacrifices on BOTH sides.
5. Forgiving is SO important and vital.
6. Keeping God first is what keeps things together and gets you through the storms.
7. Remain true to yourself.
8. Sometimes a little time apart goes a long way.
9. Trying new things together keeps it interesting and fresh.
10. Never forget the reasons you got married in the first place.

Dedicated to my parents. Happy 24^th! I love you both sooo much ♥