Cutting People Off: Why It’s Best for Everyone

Knowing how to properly cut someone off can be useful in various situations:

Everyone knows that when talking to (or “dating”) a bunch of different people… eventually you find one that moves up the list pretty quickly and over the others. It’s pretty inevitable that if you are dating 5 people at once, probably about 2 of them are just people that you can kick it with but don’t have much potential for more, 1 of them is pretty fun but you all don’t chill very often and haven’t gotten that close and then maybe 1 is the one that you see potential in but still wants to live the single life and you’re closer to settling down – then there’s the ONE – the one that you could definitely see longevity with, you have tons of fun with and you’re getting closer to it just being exclusive with them.

Or maybe you have the lingering ex that you just can’t get rid of and you don’t want your communication with him/her to jeopardize something you are building with the new person you’re “talking to”.

In each scenario it comes down to efficient communication. If you are serious about the new person you are dating, and you see a future with them – there is no reason to keep the old baggage around.

In the case of other people you were talking to, you and them haven’t moved forward to become something closer for a reason. Either you two aren’t as compatible or they aren’t ready for this point. You can’t force them to get there so why not stick with what is making you happy. If the new person you are dating thinks that you two are mutually moving towards something exclusive, it’s not fair to them to have all of these people lingering around. And really, most of the time other people are kept around is out of fear and safety. Fear that the new person might do something wrong or stop talking to us and safety because it feels safe to have more people to deal with rather than just one… for the “just in case”. Talk to the other people you were dating and let them know that you are working towards building something serious with someone and you can’t see them on that level anymore. You would like to remain friends but that’s the level it has to be kept at from this point forward.

If you have the ex lingering around… make sure either the new person knows about them and you alls potential to possibly get back together or… get rid of them! They are your ex for a reason and if you all have potential to get back together, in my opinion, it’s only right that the other person know what type of situation they are dealing with or have gotten themselves into. If you honestly have no intention of getting back with your ex, why keep them around? It’s not fair on both parts – to the ex: because you are letting them think there is still a chance and to the new person: because you aren’t being completely honest and OMITTING information is just as bad as lying. The same thing applies here, communicate with them and don’t allow their feelings to make you feel bad or guilty. If you all are truly over, then while they might not understand – they have no choice but to respect that you have moved on and are no longer dealing with them.

Make everyone’s lives easier (including yours) and be open and honest from day one… that way 6 months down the road when you want to actually be in a relationship with that person, no one’s feelings are hurt… or at least if they are, they can’t say you never told them!