Knowing WHEN to Make That Change

While listening to John Legend’s “I can change”, I came across this thought: “Is changing about knowing WHEN to change or having someone WORTH changing for?”

Time and time again guys come across “good” females and vice versa and yet, choose to pass them up because they are not willing to put aside the games, the party life and the side pieces and close that little black book long enough to realize that they have something good right in front of them. So should we expect that people wake up one day and simply decide “Oh it’s time for me to grow up and work towards eventually being in a relationship”? Highly unlikely. I believe it’s something that is decided when you meet THAT person of quality that you’ve been “looking for” and then it’s up to you to realize what you have and decide to change your ways. When you come across the person that actually keeps your attention long enough and makes you not want to go out and find other people, that’s when the change comes naturally.

I’m not saying that this “change” requires spending Saturday evenings in the house reading and knitting and not having a social life anymore, it’s just about growing up a little and closing the bachelor/ette chapter of your life… at least for the time being. In the song, Snoop mentions ”When you find one like that, you have to make that change, cause they don’t come to often… and when they do come, you got to be smart enough to know when to change.” Everyone has the specs written out in their head about their prototype and qualities they prefer in their mate. When you meet that person, they’re vibe and attitude should make you WANT to do better. And that is exactly why no man (or woman) can be FORCED to give up a certain lifestyle or get rid of other people that they’re dating.

Change varies from person to person. There are a few people that need a whole re-vamp on their relationship etiquette, some just need to give up some habits here and there and others will just NEVER get it; those will be the single 40 year olds still trying to pick up girls at the club 15 years from now. It’s all about your own personal needs. If you’re a partier and you enjoy spending 4 nights a week in the club, by all means do you… however, don’t think for one second that your bf/gf is going to sit at home and wait around for you while you continue to party and most likely meet other people. If you are scared and always keep people on the side for fear of commitment, the bug just hasn’t gotten to you yet. One of these days you’ll meet someone to make you want to get rid of the others. After all, what will you need them for if this one has all the qualities you've ever wanted and more?

But ultimately, it takes realization and unfortunately for some, it’s realizing what you have before it’s too late. I’ve seen guys date a perfectly fine girl and tell me how great she is and this and that and RIGHT before he goes to get rid of the others because he sees he doesn’t need them, bam… she finds something out about him that completely ruins the situation. It happens every day… so if you are sitting in front of someone who you know should be cherished and done right by, do the right thing… or let them go. There is someone out there willing to make that CHANGE for them if you aren’t!