Don't Act Like a Hoe & Wonder Why...

So, I’m well aware that everyone is entitled to their own opinion when it comes to just about everything… especially how certain females should be treated in terms of how they portray themselves. There are people who side with the opinion that if a female is dressed like a hoe – she should be treated as such. Then there are those who argue that a female should be able to dress and act any way she wants and not have to worry about the harassment or comments that come with that. And maybe they are right. But then I pose the question: can those types of females get angry or feel slighted when no one will wife them? (Well, I’m sure SOMEONE out there will, but not a decent dude like they want to end up with.)

I say… it comes with the territory.

We all remember a few months back when Ines Sainz – female television reporter – was interviewing Mark Sanchez of the NY Jets and had "cat calls and rude comments" made at her and also had a football thrown at her in their locker room. But, it was no secret that Sainz often wore risqué outfits that showed off her breasts and tush when interviewing athletes. Later it was also reported that she took half naked pictures that were floating around the internet and can also be found on her "professional" website. She wants to be viewed as a professional journalist, yet posts almost nude photos on what is supposed to be her PROFESSIONAL website. So, how should we label her?

Time and time again (like EVERY "titty tuesday" on Twitter) -- I see females posting these naked photos of themselves. In just the last week alone I've seen tons of "respectable" females hit Miami and other beaches for Spring Break and take on a whole new persona with retweeted pictures of them topless on the beach and other nameless acts that I'm sure they will soon come to regret in a few years. Now, I love to party and have fun... so I'm not discounting that, but I am passing judgment on the girls who do this stuff and then question why no one takes them seriously and no man wants to be with them. HELLO! I just have to sit back and shake my head because some of them seriously don't get it. You "smash the homies", go to parties and do anything and everything to be the center of attention for all the men there and show up half naked everywhere, yet YOU WONDER WHY no man will claim you as his girlfriend? Men care very much about their public image and how others will view them for being the one to “wife the hoe”. Have you not learned that men talk? If not... learn quickly!

So ultimately, of course you'll have guys trying to hang out with you -- because based on what he's seen or heard of you, you're easy… and maybe your personality is cool. So he thinks he has a chance. But when it comes down to it, any respectable man with decent morals and character traits would absolutely never make you his girlfriend. Let's not even get into marriage! It's sad because some of these chics really AREN'T the sluts that they display themselves as... but regardless of what you ACTUALLY do behind closed doors, this is what people see of you every day on campus, in the office or among friends. You wake up every day and decide what image you are going to give of yourself to those around you and unfortunately you are judged on those actions each and every day.

So stop wondering, "Why?"

Why do you think you deserve anything more? That's like Kim K getting upset because no one will put a ring on it. UH, Kimmy did you forget that little tape you did a few years back? She showed the WORLD everything in her sex tape. No one even gets to guess what her body looks like naked or what type of “love faces” she makes. Let men use their imagination. Let them dream a little. Keep them guessing. Giving it all at once is no fun and if he can just get on the Internet and see it all... what do you THINK he thinks of you? So next time you have to question a man on his motives or wonder why you can't get a decent guy or ever have a boyfriend... how about you question YOURSELF about "why" you choose to portray yourself in that manner and maybe that will help you answer those questions.

Traditions Lost?

In today’s society, many of the traditions, morals and values that our parents were taught from their parents and grandparents have been lost along the way before reaching many of the young people in our generation. Unfortunately - between the babies raising babies & the media filling our head with so much junk, telling us how we should live our lives, we’ve gotten pretty lost in the mix… (in my opinion).

I’m an old-fashioned type of girl… maybe a little too old fashioned at times. But I believe what I believe and think that part of the reason that people think chivalry is lost, gone or dead is because people either haven’t learned it OR because we have dismissed the basis of traditions our parents and grandparents were raised on. I understand that some things have to change over time – given the way technology is now; we’ve had to adjust to things accordingly. But, I think some things are just important because they help keep families and marriages together. This brings me to a recent twitter poll I did based on one done by the @Kaneshow (local radio station if you’re not familiar). The question asked to their listeners was – Should men still have to ask for permission or approval from the father of the woman before they propose and ask for her "hand in marriage".

My twitter poll produced mixed results – slightly different from the outcome I predicted. Half of the males that answered said yes, it is important to ask for approval from the father before proposing. About 75% of the females that responded said yes as well (which I figured would be 100%). Many of the responses were that the man should not have to ask for “permission” but maybe approval or simply just give the father a “heads up” that he’s going to propose soon. Others gave responses such as “its not up to the family or father just between the two people you’re not marrying the family” (via @thegenius215) and “not for PERMISSION, but maybe advice or for opinions... he should only be asking the gf parents for her hand in marriage” (via @adriboo1104).

My stance on it is YES. A few decades ago, almost everyone participated in this tradition -- whereas nowadays only 1 in 6 men ask the father for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Someone thought I was almost crazy because I actually value my family’s opinion on what type of man I am going to decide to spend the rest of my life with. This proves to me how much society has devalued marriage and its seriousness and also gives me indication on why people treat divorce just as common as marriage. I just think that not only are you marrying that person, but you are marrying their family as well. I want my family to be able to be around my man, enjoy his company, LIKE him and what he’s about – and vice versa. When you get married and take those vows, your family is a witness and they are also vowing on that day that they will do everything in their power to keep you all together and help you though any tough times. It’s a team effort.

I just think that we need to remember some of the traditions that were laid out early on and embrace/go back to them if we want our families and marriages to coincide. Just because it's 2010, doesn’t mean everything needs to change. I'm a daddy's girl & my family's approval is very important to me, so I know whoever I marry BETTER ask my dad for approval before proposing to me. No, really though... if you're reading this, just know! LOL.

:: A little dish to end your night. XOX <3

Dish of the day – Men, Women & Change.

“Women marry women hoping to change them; Men marry women hoping they’ll never change”

So this post is dedicated to my parent’s 24^th anniversary yesterday. 24 years of being with ONE person… definitely a beautiful thing. Hence the reason I believe in marriage, don’t believe in divorce and advocate for waiting until marriage for children. Watching their marriage has definitely had a positive impact on my life and taught me a lot of interesting things. The quotation at the top is something my mom constantly told me as a girl growing up and I never really understood the meaning until looking at the female/male dynamics and motives when in a relationship, analyzing some of my own actions as well and breaking down some of the reasons that quotation might or might not actually be the case.

I think as a woman we have a tendency to overanalyze things and think that we can control a lot more than we can. In terms of relationships, it becomes hard sometimes to determine the dividing line between telling a man something about himself in a way that is seen as helpful and would help him grow versus nagging about stuff he does and trying to critique his “flaws” in hopes of bringing about a change in them and in him overall. I can’t speak for all women, but I know there are the types that meet a sub par man and think to themselves “Now, if I could just change this, this and that… he would be perfect”… WRONG! Especially at the age we are now, there is certainly room for growth but no man is going to change and mold himself to be whatever it is that woman wants him to be. Change takes a person seeing something negative in them, accepting it, and working towards making it better. It’s best to give your opinion and let him acknowledge it himself and if you don’t see the results you want or he doesn’t agree… leave it alone or walk away if it’s going to be that much of an issue.

When it comes to men never wanting to see their woman or wife change, I completely agree. I think (and see) a lot of women that get in relationships, get comfortable because they have their man and he loves them and BAM completely let go of everything she was doing when she met him – this includes activities, friends, appearance, motivation, etc. Just sad. I’m not quite sure what makes a woman think that her man wants her sitting up under him all day, but disclaimer ladies: it’s unattractive! If you had a job, you were involved doing a bunch of outside activities, you hung out with your girlfriends frequently and you kept your hair and nails done to attract that man, keep it up. Yes, he should love you for you, but at the end of the day men are physical people and if he truly loves you, he wants you to remain true to you first – he will be there.

From watching my parent’s marriage, I’ve learned these 10 things (& more) --

1. It has its ups and downs but it is unconditional and forever.
2. Communication, communication, communication.
3. Get to know each other for as long as possible before getting married, there is no rush.
4. A successful marriage takes sacrifices on BOTH sides.
5. Forgiving is SO important and vital.
6. Keeping God first is what keeps things together and gets you through the storms.
7. Remain true to yourself.
8. Sometimes a little time apart goes a long way.
9. Trying new things together keeps it interesting and fresh.
10. Never forget the reasons you got married in the first place.

Dedicated to my parents. Happy 24^th! I love you both sooo much ♥