5 TRUE reasons “not everyone should go natural”

As a woman who has had both permed hair and natural hair during my lifetime, I’m OVER hearing that “going natural isn't for everyone.” Who IS it for then? People with “good hair” only? I recently read a quotation by a natural blogger who said, “If you were supposed to have anything but that, then you would have it.” Meaning – you weren't born with bone straight hair growing out of your scalp for a reason. Who are you to tell anyone that they shouldn't wear their hair in its natural state?

I've only been natural (no chemicals) for 3 years now so I have experienced both sides of the spectrum. I got my first perm at 15 because I wanted to fit in with all of the other little girls running around with straight flowing hair, so I begged and begged my parents to let me get one. Prior to that I was getting my hair pressed and curled faithfully every Sunday evening. During college I made the decision to go natural and bc’d (big chopped) in August of 2008. Over the past 3 years I’ve witnessed women go natural successfully and others go from perms to natural and back to perms again. During this time I’ve also come to the conclusion that YES people are correct “not everyone can go natural.” But not for the reasons others give… below I explain my 5 reasons why not:

They let OTHERS tell them they can’t

People are always concerned with what other people think about them, what about what YOU think? You dress up to look cute for OTHER females to judge you on if you think you’re TOO cute or if you’re not cute ENOUGH for their liking. You make sure everything is perfect enough so that a guy won’t think you’re fast but show just enough to catch an eye. You worry about what your Caucasian co-workers are going to think because your hair is different from theirs. Forget outsiders, some of our own friends and parents look at us crazy or don’t show support towards certain ideas of ours. When is the last time you stopped caring and made a decision for you? No matter how you wear your hair or what outfit you throw on, someone is judging. You are always going to be stuck with yourself, so at least let them judge on something you are comfortable with and be true to you and what makes you happy.

It’s not socially ACCEPTABLE in our society

There are certain lines that have been drawn in society by people on what defines what is okay and what’s not okay and unfortunately natural hair comes TOO close to that line. You rarely see celebs and actresses wearing their hair in its natural state for that very reason. That’s where pushing the line and self-definition come into play. Society also once said that black wasn’t beautiful and that fuller figured women couldn’t be on TV and we see how that’s changed. You have to be comfortable with SELF first before you can take on society and that’s a big challenge to conquer within itself before even considering going natural.

They have been brainwashed by European standards of “BEAUTY”

When you have relaxed hair, it’s easy to manage because it’s pretty much always straight. You hop in the shower, wash, blow dry and flat iron. When you go natural, you have to let go of the European standard of “beauty” and acknowledge that every strand of your hair is now different. You’ll have some big curls, some tighter curls and some that are not curly at all – all on the same head. The texture is what MAKES the natural hair so beautiful and different. If you can’t handle that or the fact that your hair may now seem “imperfect”, then being natural isn’t for you.

Aren't willing to put in the WORK  it takes to be natural

When you make the decision to go natural – that’s when the true work begins. It’s about taking the time to learn YOUR new hair type, what works best with it and treat it right. What someone else says is a great product may not be so for your hair and the most expensive product may also not be your best bet. It takes time to develop a hair routine that works and produces the results you want to see. It is also a true test of PATIENCE (especially if you big chopped). Many people expect to see instant results and growth and while it is growing healthier and stronger, it’s all based on the care you are giving it; similar to a plant. That goes for relaxed hair too, but natural hair is coarser, so with neglect, tangles can make your hair more susceptible to breakage. You have to see the end goal and WORK towards it. Don’t go natural unless you’re going to invest the time, money and energy!

Never had to take care of the NATURAL state of their hair

If you’ve been relaxed more than half of your life, it’s likely that you’ve NEVER even seen or had to deal with your hair in its natural state. If this is the case, then it can be a big shock and even discourage you when you finally see it and it have no idea how this works. Blogs and youtube videos dedicated to naturals can definitely be a helpful resource to get support and learn about your new found hair. It also helps if you have at least 1 person in your support system backing you. It can be frustrating and there are times when you are going to want to give up and perm your hair again but trust me, it’s not worth it! Just like you had to learn everything you know now, this is another challenge to take HEAD ON with confidence!

So there you have it... my 5 true reasons that not everyone should go natural. Remember that every hair style is just that… a STYLE, and everyone has things they are comfortable with and things that are too farfetched for them. If going natural just isn’t in your favor, then by all means, steer clear. But if you've wanted to take the natural plunge or just feeling frustrated with your tresses, I hope this has inspired you to love yourself, know that you’re beautiful and you define your own standards and EMBRACE the natural :) 

HBCU or PWI ???

I constantly hear people battle about which type of school is better – an HBCU or a PWI. For those if you that don’t know: a HBCU is a Historically Black College or University and a PWI is a Predominately White Institute. People judge based on their experiences and based on what they’ve heard from others about their schools. Unfortunately some come to the conclusion that HBCU’s are sub-par and those that graduate from them cannot come out of college and compete with their counterparts. That is so far from the truth.

It saddens me that people discourage others from attending a Historically Black College because they have heard that they are “party schools” and other negative rumors that bash what people have worked so hard to build up. Some of the same doctors and lawyers that could have chosen to teach at a PWI make the decision to educate students at HBCUs instead. Some of the top leaders and role models in this world graduated from a HBCU and went on to greatness! As with any college and university across the country… your school is what YOU make it. You could attend Yale or Harvard and flunk out the first year because all you chose to do is party and hang around a crowd that was not focused on getting ahead or achievement. I’ve seen some of my counterparts attend PWIs and bring home terrible grades or complain about the atmosphere at their school and how they feel like they are “just a number”. I think it is a matter of choosing the school that you wish to attend WISELY. If you find it hard to focus in larger settings, then obviously a school with 30,000 students probably isn't best suited for you. You have the power to make your school a match for you and your needs and if you don't like something work to be a CHANGE, after all you are paying tuition there!

I think it’s also based on what type of life you lived prior to college. If you grew up around ALL black people throughout elementary, middle and high school then maybe going to a PWI was a good match because you wanted a change. Me for example, I grew up around a good mix of diversity prior to college but never had too many black friends so I wanted to attend a HBCU to get a different experience. Still with attending a HBCU I experienced the most diversity EVER – I went to college with all types of black people from all around the world with a range of backgrounds, experiences and those that shared my goals & aspirations and wanted to make a difference in OUR communities. I wouldn't change my HBCU experience for the world because it taught me that there are no 2 black people that are the same in this world. Everyone I met had their own story to share and my school is a worldwide 2^nd family to me. I can also say that I am DEFINITELY prepared to compete with any of my counterparts in this world because I did what I had to to learn while I was in college; as did most of my colleagues.

With that said… I think that everyone should let people make their OWN decisions when deciding on a college or university to attend. I have heard all kinds of opinions but ultimately everyone has to make their school the best for THEM. I will always support HBCU’s because they give those who may not have always had a chance the chance to achieve higher things in life. Oh yeah & shout out to my Alma Mater… can I get an AGGIE PRIDE!!!

Dishing My Review: For Colored Girls

Sunday, I went to see the Tyler Perry movie -- "For Colored Girls", based on the play “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf” by Ntozake Shange.

A lot of people kept saying how sad and depressing it was but I actually never dropped a tear and I’m usually a CRIER! So, before I went I googled the play to get a little overview of exactly how the suicide and rainbow came into play. Basically, each color in the rainbow is representative of each woman in the play and they each have a separate stories about their lives that are  shared through out  the play. 

So, yes while it was definitely dramatic (as Tyler Perry movies normally are) – it was also very REAL. I kept seeing a number of tweets saying how depressing it was but every account in the movie comes from a real life stand point and I know firsthand plenty of women who have been through things that the movie addressed. The movie dealt with abortion, rape, married men on the down low and AIDS, STDs, post war alcohol abuse, domestic abuse, holding onto a dead relationship, religion, mother daughter relationships, family molestation, and overall, the subtle connection that all black women share. I appreciated every single issue covered because unfortunately in our families and in our community, many people do not bring up or talk about these issues and solutions to them enough.

Many men felt (as they usually do with Tyler Perry movies) that they were “bashed” as usual and the movie gave good men in the world no credit. Well, that was pretty much the case, but this time, this wasn’t Tyler’s work. The film did not show a lot of positivity towards black males, but then again, despite the fact that there are good men left, a lot of our communities are still suffering and plighted by the issues that were addressed in the movie. Whether there are good black men still out in the world or not is beside the point when these issues are so dominant and often overlooked and ignored. I just feel like if you are truly a GOOD black male, you don’t need a movie to give you credit – for what? If you are TRULY a good man, you do your part regardless and aren’t looking for a handout, pat on the back or cookie for what you do. But, if you are a black male that feels this way about the movie – then do your part in the community to help others and get these issues heard and make sure that when you marry, you raise your daughter to RECOGNIZE the good black men and your son to BE a good black man.

I particularly enjoyed the poetic segments throughout the movie – which I know not everyone would like because some people just don’t “get” stuff like that. You definitely had to pay close attention to the words of the poems, and even I need to watch the movie again to pick up on some of the metaphors that were used. I also liked how in the beginning each of the women lived a separate life and went about their business each and every day (as most of us out here do) and in the end; they ended up intertwined because they shared so many similarities they initially had no idea about. This goes to show that each day as you walk by your sister in the grocery store, or pass each other on the metro going to work, you truly have NO idea what she could be dealing with or going through. People use smiles, laughter and make up to cover up a lot. As I sat in the theater, I had goosebumps because the bond of black women is undefined and unspoken. Each of us has our own struggles in life – some more extreme than others – but in the end, we share one single strand of similarity: being an African American woman, and that is something that no one else can take from us, no one else can identify with and no one else will truly understand until they walk in our shoes.

Dishing the "Good Hair" Theory

Good hair… what exactly is “good hair”? 


A constant question I ask when I hear someone make this comment. Even though, we all know that good hair means straight, manageable, non-kinky hair. So I guess that means that any other hair type must be bad right? I find myself in debates often about this topic because I can go on for days with my opinion about hair types, natural vs. perms, weave, etc. Now, I’ve only been natural (without any chemicals in my hair) since May of 2008. But, I can say it was one of the best decisions of my life and I will never go back to having a perm.


I DON’T look down on anyone that chooses to perm their hair though. I think each person needs to make the decision based on what is most manageable for them and how they prefer to keep their hair up. What I DO look down on are people that are ignorant about it.


First, my problem is that people even use the terms “good hair”, “bad hair”, “nappy”, etc. altogether. Those are terms that society has deemed acceptable for people to categorize the difference between hair that is straight and hair that is kinky, i.e. white and black people’s hair. Bad has a negative connotation, so why do we automatically associate negativity with hair that is not straight? We grow up being programmed to believe that the lighter and straighter the better. And what exact is “nappy”? Dictionary.com defines it as – “kinky” or “fuzzy” but we all know that the term nappy is more often than not used to describe someone’s hair in an offensive manner -- We all remember when Don Imus said, "That's some nappy-headed hos there." (2007) -- I really don't think that was meant as a compliment.

My second problem is that I don’t understand why people think that they have the right to say deter people from going natural and make comments like “not everyone should go natural”. Last time I checked when I came out of my mother’s womb my hair grew out of my head like this. I wasn’t born with a perm on my hair, so whatever makes anyone think they have the right to judge someone based on that is beyond me. I continuously hear guys make comments about not wanting to talk to a girl with natural hair. Why though? Have we been THAT brainwashed and as I like to call it – “Europeanized” that we no longer embrace our culture and only accept females with long straight hair? Earth to guys, you say you don’t like women who wear makeup, and you want her to be “natural” but yet you shun girls with natural hair? A little backwards if you ask me.

I don’t try to push my opinions on others, because they are just that – opinions. But, I really do want everyone to sit back and think about how they sound when they make ignorant comments like that, you sound DUMB. Embrace your culture people.

Girls that rock perms & weave it up I love you all the same (I rock my 14 inches sometimes too lol) & all my TWA chics continue to do you! xox