Dishing MOTIVATION: I Think I Can!

Today started pretty shitty. I had a chip on my shoulder which rolled over from yesterday and it didn’t help that the weather is “blah”, which made my mood even more “BLAH” and I just wasn’t feeling anything at all. But after reading something that moved me a little, I began to turn around. As usual I decided I would redirect my energy. So I made a few phone calls to get some email addresses for a venture of mine and ended up landing a meeting with someone… pretty big. Now I feel better. I channeled my negative, “blah” energy into something positive that I’d been meaning to do for some time now and it turned out great.

I always start my day thinking “I’m going to make today GREAT” – but it doesn’t always happen that way. Sometimes, I let OTHERS take my good, positive energy and I’m left with nothing to invest in myself. Granted, I realize… I give them too much power. So, just wanted to share that little vent session with you all and maybe if your day is “BLAH” and you need a little motivation, remember, it all starts from within. Whatever (or WHOever) is bugging you or bringing you down isn't worth it. *REDIRECT AND CHANNEL YOUR ENERGY INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE AND BENEFICIAL FOR YOURSELF*

& just like the little engine that could “I think I can! I think I can!” – and on that note… up the hill I go ;)

1 Dish of Cure For Negativity

Negativity… an epidemic so easy to spread like a cold and once 1 person is contaminated they can spread it from person to person like a chain reaction. You can catch it at work, through friends, colleagues, family, and even a spouse… and the worst part is sometimes you can have it and don’t even know. Ever notice that one person that is constantly making comments about things and never has anything positive to say? Some people that carry this disease around and knowingly and purposely transmit it to others, because if they aren’t fully happy in their lives, why is anyone else allowed to be?

The key to staying clear of this sickness is to 1. never catch it in the first place or 2. get rid of it the moment you find out you have it.

If you never want to catch it, you have to avoid people that you know who carry it. Stay clear of the infected because their outlook on life is to always see the glass half empty. They would rather wallow in their own unhappy thoughts because it would just be TOO hard to try to fix their problems or be positive about life. Surround yourself with people that you know are positive thinking individuals who share the same goals as yourself. But if you absolutely have to be around someone that is negative through work or other situations, try to change their outlook on things. Share your smiles, share your good words and happy thoughts... you'd be surprised, a little goes a long way.

If one day you notice that you've been saying or thinking a lot of negative things... get rid of that mindset ASAP! Take a look around you and see if you have been infected by someone who is spreading their disease to you. You are crippling yourself and most likely others around you by carrying around a negative outlook on things and at the end of the day you're doing the most damage to YOURSELF. If you aren't happy with something, complaining is doing absolutely NOTHING for you but digging the problem deeper and deeper. Instead, find the root of the negative thoughts and look for a solution to it, which can only be found in you.

Overall, life is about success, which you measure. You decide what makes you happy. You decide what can KEEP you happy. And only YOU can allow someone to take that away. Do not allow someone to bring their negative disease and spread it to you, a negative person’s only goal is to spread their gloomy misery everywhere. Nothing in life comes easy or without stress, and that is not to be expected. So instead of adding to the spread of it, combat the negative energy with a positive outlook on life. Think about all of the wasted time you can spend complaining, hurting others and being pessimistic. 1 year? 5 years? 10 years? Think about the happiness you are blinding yourself from during all of that time. Don't allow anyone to spread their negative mood to you, it's not worth it and it's definitely not doing any GOOD in your life. So cure the negativity and share a smile instead of a nasty attitude today... makes a difference :)

Bag Lady: Learning to LET GO of All That Baggage

Just like a new purse or piece of luggage, the “emotional baggage” we carry in our lives comes in all shapes, forms and characters. It can be an old relationship you’re holding onto, maybe it’s an ISSUE from the relationship that you just can’t let go of, a fight you had with friends that you’re holding a grudge on one of them for, something your parents did (or didn’t do) when raising you, a regret you may have with yourself… among many other things. No matter the type, size, or condition of the bags – sometimes it’s just time to buy some new stuff. Revamp your image a little and feel good about having something new… a new beginning. Similar to the problems everyone goes through in life, the daily bags that you carry can eventually just weigh you down and prevent you from having your eyes open to something positive right in front of you. Erykah Badu expressed it best in her song “Bag Lady” & her lyrics below are a prime example of what I mean about baggage…

“Bag lady you gon’ miss your bus, 

You can't hurry up, cause you got too much stuff
When they see you coming, N*ggas take off running... 

From you it's true oh yes they do”  --Erykah Badu

B-R-O-K-E-N    D-O-W-N:

“Bag lady you gon’ miss your bus” – meaning, you are going to miss an opportunity for something in life when it’s right in front of you

“You can’t hurry up, cause you got too much stuff” – you can’t run to catch the bus (achieve something, get the man of your dreams, get that promotion at work you want) because you are carrying too much baggage… the baggage is blocking your view of something right in front of you and weighing you down preventing you from being able to reach out and grab that goal of yours

“When they see you coming, n*ggas take off running” – who wants someone who has a whole lot of baggage? Whether you are trying to start a new relationship or meet a new friend… people have enough issues of their own, why would they want to start something that should be fresh and positive with someone who is bringing so much negative to the start of something?

The moral is: take a few minutes out of your “busy” life and think about the amount of baggage you are carrying around on a daily basis. How long have you been carrying some of those bags? Weeks? Months? Maybe even years? It’s unnecessary, unhealthy and really just pathetic. If you need to forgive someone for something, you have to forgive yourself first… start at the root of the problem and put your pride to the side. Think about WHY it’s necessary for you to still be upset with them and what good it’s doing in your life. Do you think they are sitting around thinking about you the same way? Most likely… no (and if they are, let them WASTE their time). You are causing damage to your spirit by not allowing yourself to forgive and forget things. You have this weight on your shoulders that brings down your overall mood because while you might smile on the outside, something is constantly bugging you on the inside. You cannot truly begin a new relationship or grasp an opportunity without having a clear focus and not bringing old issues into something that should really be refreshing. Your man (or girl) does not want to hear about allllllllllll of the negative things from a past relationship… all you are proving is that you have tons of baggage and are not really over your past. So today, take each piece of baggage you own, open it, search through it's contents and throw away what you do not need. Embrace the good, get rid of the bad & allow yourself to embrace what is right in front of you… that’s all it takes!

Let it go, let it go, let it go… 

Embrace – Don’t Hate: Diary of a [constantly] Angry Black Woman

What would the diary of a [constantly] angry black woman with a permanent attitude look like? What type of scenarios would she encounter on a daily basis? What type of people would she attract?

Well for one… she would probably be the type of girl (yes, “girl” because as a woman you have put childish acts & unnecessary drama behind you) that always walked around telling everyone that she “doesn’t get along with females” and the couple of “friends” that she does actually have probably act just like her, if not worse. She probably goes to work (if she has a job) and does the bare minimum and every time she is asked to do something, she gives a whole bunch of LIP… IF she has a man, she’s constantly nagging him and even though he’s a good guy, she’s always accusing him of doing something and nothing he does is ever right or good enough for her. She’s always the first one complaining and the last one taking action to correct whatever is going wrong. She spends her extra waking moments talking shit about other people and hating on other women, and before she goes to sleep at night when she looks in the mirror at herself – she’s probably completely unhappy with what she sees (because to genuinely share good feelings for and with another person, you have to feel good feelings for yourself FIRST). 

-- sound like you, or someone you know? Keep reading -- 

So, why is it that women are SO quick to hate on one another? Why are there just some women in the world that are so EVIL and NEGATIVE that even if you handed them the world on a silver platter, would just never be happy? I’m convinced it’s an epidemic. I’ve witnessed a pretty girl walk by someone and all her & her friends can do is tear her down. The girl was on point, hair done, pretty face, body tight, cute outfit & rocking some BAD heels… But yet the first comment out of one of the girls mouths was “Ugh she thinks she’s cute” – or “Her hair isn’t real”, etc, etc… so many women are quick to rip each other apart when they sense someone is competition to them. This is a sign of inferiority, symptoms of jealously and definitely a whole lot of insecurity. It is impossible for someone who doesn’t truly feel confident in themselves and what they have to offer to feel GENUINE happiness for other people.  I’m sure we all have that friend that no matter WHAT you say to them about accomplishments going on in your life, they have to one up you and tell you what they are doing that is SOOO much better. Yep. That fits the insecure checklist too. Most likely, she’s probably friends with the girl I described first above. But, just know… the girl that walked by, you know the one that got hated ON – she has her stuff together, she’s happy, complete and full of life… oh AND the good man (that the negative girl is searching endlessly for) the positive girl's got him. Because she’s comfortable with herself and she knows that there will ALWAYS be someone better, prettier, freakier, richer, etc… but to TRULY be happy, you have to accept what you have, have confidence in it, and enjoy YOUR own life. The rest will fall into place naturally.

I will just never understand why so much negative energy is invested in hating on each other. Sitting on the metro yesterday I just watched the dynamics of groups of white people and black people (not to make this an issue of race, but this is just what I observed) – a group of white people introducing new friends to each other, shaking hands, sharing jokes, conversations about work, and in the end, they exchanged business cards with each other – Ding! Ding! Ding! – CONNECTIONS & NEW ASSOCIATES! Yet, time and time again, I see this situation replayed among black women and the closed-mindedness of them doesn’t allow them to even get as far as a simple conversation. We have got to do better ladies!! We need to work to build each other up and pull each other to the top instead of hating and spreading negative energy. If you see a woman with her hair looking good, COMPLIMENT her! Ask her where she got it done, so you can look just as nice. If you see a woman doing something positive with her life, don’t be JEALOUS! Ask how you can contribute and maybe she can help you work your way to that point. Use every opportunity in a positive way and you will reap positive rewards. Don’t nag your boyfriend about every little thing; pick and choose your battles! APPRECIATE him and what he does; our black males need to be built up because the world is constantly tearing them down (without any of that from us).

I could go on & on about this topic but seriously – remember KARMA is a never ending circle. You put positive energy into the world, it will return to you. And you never know who is witnessing your attitude… so from today on… 
EMBRACE, don’t hate :)